


Gaytes Sqaud

by ShippedTrash



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angry Yuri Plisetsky, Crack, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I try, I try to be funny okay, Mentions a lot of sex, Multi, Swearing, What Have I Done, emo yuri, i deserve that a for effort, im crying this is a mess, kinkshaming, like actual paragraphs, might add more relationships, none of this is serious, not all group chat, pls dont be offended, rarepair, they all live in japan, this doesn't make much sense tbh, till death do me part, trans yuri fite me, yuuri is the mother confirmed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-09-27 01:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9945080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippedTrash/pseuds/ShippedTrash
Summary: PeachyPika made a group chat. PeachyPika added SkatingTiger, VICTOR’SBAE, Yuuri’sChampION and Roar.PeachyPika renamed the chat ‘TheIceMadeAllOfUsGay’SkatingTiger: I’m not gay dumbassSkatingTiger: I’m also leavingShit is going down in Japan.





	1. PeachyPika Nearly Dies Yay

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I'm a slut for these fics and erm I wrote one myself... Please any hate express it or love idm and I've listed the current username type things down below. If you want to request one please do. My ideas are really bad soooo yeah. I'll add more characters as we go along so chill if they're not here yet.
> 
> Yuri-SkatingTiger  
> Minami-Miniminamemes  
> Yuuri-:)VICTOR’SBAE:)  
> Victor-:)Yuuri’sChampION:)  
> Guang Hong-Gay Honey  
> Leo-Roar  
> Otabek-Otabek  
> Pichit-PeachyPika  
> Seung Gil-Seung Gil  
> JJ-KINGJJOFDAWORLD  
> Chris-SexInHumanForm
> 
> Yeah sue me. I'm also reeeaallly lazy sometimes so I will leave people out for stupid reasons i.e. there name is too long to write. If any of this offends for any reason weeeeeeelll there's not much I can do.

PeachyPika made a group chat. PeachyPika added SkatingTiger, VICTOR’SBAE, Yuuri’sChampION and Roar. 

PeachyPika renamed the chat ‘TheIceMadeAllOfUsGay’

SkatingTiger: I’m not gay dumbass   
SkatingTiger: I’m also leaving 

SkatingTiger left the chat.

PeachyPika: uuuuuuuuu waiiiiiiit there was a reason for this 

VICTOR’SBAE: what was the reason then phichit

PeachyPika: idk yuri made me forget  
PeachPika: he gave me mmry loss rip

Roar: addd him back 

PeachyPika: ;-;

VICTOR’SBAE: PHICHIT BE STRONG

PeachyPika added SkatingTiger.

PeachyPika: DON’T LIE YOUR TOTES GAY I mean if you really arent thats kinda weird ya know

SkatingTiger: I’M NOT GAY DUMBASS FUCK YOU

Roar: yeah and im not dating guang hong . dw yuri im on ur side :)

Yuuri’sChampION: OOOOHHHH youre dating guang hong 

Roar: ……………..

PeachyPika: shit I need to confirm this where is guang at 

VICTOR’SBAE: LANGUAGE THERE’S A CHILDDDDDD

PeachyPika added Gay Honey.

Roar: qick escape before they catch ypu 

SkatingTiger: If he leaves and he’s not added back I’M SUING THE LITTLE SHITHEAD WHO MADE THIS CHAT  
SkatingTiger: Can I leave now?????? ????

PeachyPika: NO  
PeachyPika: Youre ga y and leo ‘s b een h idin g smth f r om u s  
PeachyPika: Guang we know youre gayyyyyyyyy and dating leeeoooo 

VICTOR’SBAE: YOU CANT HIDE dw were accepting the fact that you might hv been embarrassed . also yuri no swearing your parents forbid it 

Roar: @SkatingTiger you said you wasnt gaaayyy now look they think im dating someone

SkatingTiger: I'M NOT GAY THEY'RE JUST ASSUMING STUFF 

Gay Honey: guays im not in a relayionship yet but I suppose if Yuri is gay thennnnnnnnn maayyyyyyybe

Gay Honey to Roar.  
Gay Honey: hey leo wanna be myboyfriendandgoonadatetomorrowafterpracticeorsmhpleasedontbeharsh 

Roar: ………… that was surp ri sin g guang 

Gay Honey: aghhhhhhh imsorryidkijustlikeyoualotandiwanttoeatpizzawithyou   
Gay Honey: leo  
Gay Honey: wait come back im sorry cn we stll be frennnnnssss  
Gay Honey: heartbroken. 

~Meanwhile~

SkatingMadeUsGay

Roar: srryyuriyouredefogay

SkatingTiger: I. Hate. You. All.   
SkatingTiger: You have no proof anyway good luck with that

PeachyPika: bet Otabaeee would know

SkatingTiger: Give it a rest and STFU

PeachyPika: Hey yuuuuuri do you got Otabek’s usernameee

VICTOR’SBAE: idk but victor defo will. Sorry son

Yuuri’sChampION: I WAS SUMMON ED 

Yuuri’sChampION added Otabek

Otabek: Why am I here? Also hi Yuri.

SkatingTiger: I’m leaving fuck you all 

SkatingTiger left.  
PeachyPika added SkatingTiger.  
SkatingTiger left.  
PeachyPika added SkatingTiger.  
SkatingTiger left.  
PeachyPika added SkatingTiger.

PeachyPika: resistenace is futi l e

Roar: yuris gay right Otabek

SkatingTiger: stfu leo

VICTOR’SBAE: pls otabek we just want to know so we can be a proper supportive family

SkatingTiger: Why do you assume I tell Otabek everything and I just want to point out THAT I AM NOT YOUR SON

Otabek: I can confirm that, yes, Yuri is gay. 

SkatingTiger: Fucking hell this is abuse 

Yuuri’sChampIon: YURIO SHOW SOME LOVE

VICTOR’SBAE: LANGUAGE

SkatingTiger: I’M NOT TAKING THIS ABUSE YOU’RE ALL BULLIES AND PICHIT I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND

PeachyPika: kinky 

SkatingTiger: You’re in Japan rn right?  
SkatingTiger: You’ve got precisely five minutes before I arrive hurry up and write a will

Otabek: Yuri no. Pichit didn’t do anything.

SkatingTiger: HE CALLED ME KINKY BEKA   
SkatingTiger: I AM 15 I AM NOT KINKY

Otabek: He's not done anything really bad though.

PeachyPika: Otabae is the best I thought I was gonn hv to evacuate or smh 

~MEANWHILE OTABEK BE LYIN' TO PHICHIT~

Otabek to SkatingTiger.  
Otabek: Have fun with Pichit but remember murder will not get you anywhere. 

SkatingTiger: Yeah yeah whatever Beka. 

Otabek: Need a ride?

SkatingTiger: Your’e outside ? give me a minute I need to prepare before beating the shit outta Pichit

SkatingMadeUsGay 

Gay Honey: LeEeEeEeEoOoOoOoO plss rply

Otabek: Pichit I’d run I dropped Yuri off at your hotel.

PeachyPika: FUCKING SHIT YOU LITTLE BACKSTABBING DICK OTABAE WHYY I NEED TO LIVE TO SEE LEO ACCEPT GUAN INTO HIS HEART NUHHHFGGKJLHKFFFFFFFFFFGJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H ERRV LP 

VICTOR’SBAE:Yuri your father is disappointed with you . hes in the shower rn but still v disappointed also *ahem ahem* LANGUAGE THERE ARE CHILDREN YURI CAN STILL BE PURE

Roar: Guang I cant talk when drving thats like illegal or smh

Gay Honey: …….  
Gay Honey:…………………………

Roar: Im coming round yours 

Gay Honey: Pichit might be ded and not just bc of yuri

Roar: I brought pizzaaaaaa

Gay Honey: phichit might die of a heart attack leo   
Gay Honey: im lonely hurry pls 

PeachyPika: II CNT CREDD PROETOPEY WAS GONS OM 

SkatingTiger: THE LITTLE FUCKER HAS SMTH CALLED PEPPER SPRAY AND HE NEARLY SPRAYED IT IN MY FUCKING EYE I HV THE RIGHT TO KILL HIM

PeachyPika: no pls you poked me in the eye firss why do you do this

VICTOR’SBAE:PICHIT WAIT ILL COME FOR RUN HID OR SMH

PeachyPika: I cant hes comng 

Otabek: Like a horror movie.

Gay Honey: Im terrified someone knocked on my door has yuri come for me

Roar: No its me

Gay Honey: yesss

PeachyPika: HES GTTING CLOSER YUURI YOU LIVE LIKE FV MINS AWAY WTF RRRR UUUUU

VICTOR’SBAE: VICTOR S IN THE SH O WER 

SkatingTiger: The more you text the closer I get

PeachyPika: HOWD HE EVEN GET INTO MY ROOOM   
PeachyPika: FuCk hE fOUnd My KnifE SkateS

Roar: knife skates omg

Gay Honey: wtf Pichit what are knife skates even 

Otabek: … I feel bad now Pichit I’m coming to help you hold on. 

Otabek opened the door to Pichit’s room, carefully observing how quiet it was. He couldn’t tell where the two had gone or why the only thing he could hear was silence. He took another step in, a very prominent confused face present. And then Yuri flew round the corner and Pichit, who’d been hiding right behind Otabek (breathing so softly you’d wonder if he was breathing at all) screamed and latched onto the nearest solid object which just so happened to be Otabek who presently facepalmed. “OTABEEK SAVE MEEE!” He wailed, sniffling for extra, well, extra something. Yuri put the ice skate he was holding behind his back. He whistled and threw it onto the ground behind him before diving for the door and glaring at Pichit. ‘I’ll get you one day’ he mouthed with a devilish smirk on his face. Pichit sighed in relief and stood up. There were bubbly tears in his eye, like something out of an anime. “Thank you so MUCH! SELFIE!” Pichit reached out and curled his hand around his phone, the other around Otabek’s neck, the camera flashing before he had a chance to refuse.   
As he left Pichit loaded him with chocolate and waved goodbye from the hotel window. 

PeachyPika: That was a traumatic experience for me WAaaahaAaa

VICTOR’SBAE: YOUR ALIVE PICHITTT

Yuuri’sChampION: AYAYAYAYAYA

SkatingTiger: I’m going to practice you guys are all sick

VICTOR’SBAE: I FORBID IT ITS TOO LATE FOR A CHILD SUCH AS YOU TO GO ICE SKATING ALOOOOONE 

SkatingTiger: DON’T ACT LIKE MY PARENT 

Otabek: I’ll go with him if you like. 

VICTOR’SBAE: YUIR STOP DON’T GROW UP TOO FAST also yes that makes me feel better danke danke Otabek

PeachyPika: mama yuri cares for his children 

SkatingTiger: STOP

PeachyPika: DIDNT DENY IT THO 

SkatingTiger: I’m gone 

Otabek: He cares for you really.

Yuuri’sChampION: erm Otabek arent you riding yor motorbike with yuri rn   
Yuuri’sChampION: Otabek…  
Yuuri’sChampION awwwww idkw but I ship it 

Roar: same also guang dont lock your bedroom it doesnt matter that your really bad at guitar heroooo

Gay Honey: I WILL beat YOUR SCORE

VICTOR’SBAE: YOUNG LOVE

PeachyPika: I thought iT waS it HeadInG In thE OTHeR DireCtioN wHHOoPS

Gay Honey: PiCHIt nO 

SkatingTiger: Is no one questioning Yuuri about the fact that he wrote 'danke danke' ??//?


	2. Yuri Regrets His Life Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri becomes flustered when accused of something that is not entirely true (just yet). In return, Phichit embarrasses the blonde and the topic of love somehow worms it's way into the conversation. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so next chapter. I hope you know I’m just shitting these words from my mouth and that this is likely to be lowwww af quality. I can English guys I go to a grammar school but ehhh. So here’s some Miniiiiii children and gay shit. That’s all. Also I’m lazy aff soooo I may shorten the usernames and leave people out because of the long ass usernames k? Bear in mind I’m writing this at like midnight. also thank you to the twelve people who left kudos on my story i cry and think of you every nite (okay that got creepy) but yeah thanks

PeachyPika to SkatingTiger.  
PeachyPika: Y U R I I N E E D M O R E D I R T O N Y O U

SkatingTiger: Fuck off

PeachyPika: R U M A D 

SkatingTiger: STFU 

PeachyPika: Okay so I hv a legitmate reesoon for txtng u  
PeachyPika: You commntd on my last last last insta post  
PeachyPika: yknow the onewith the ‘chicken nugget’ in???? ? ? ? ?  
PeachyPika: his names kenjirou minami for you but he goos by minami kenjirou bc hes japanese  
PeachyPika: pls mk me feel appreciated Yuuri wont reply eitherrr  
PeachyPika: im lonesommm

SkatingTiger: Yuuri won’t reply because he’s too busy being dominated by a platinum blonde asshole from Russia who thinks he can fuckin adopt me  
SkatingTiger: And I don’t care about the little freak

PeachyPika: butttt you asked for his name on the post lucky I never tgged hm PeachyPika: is okay yuri hes super cute and pretty

SkatingTiger: You (delusional) motherfucker

SkatingTiger to Otabek.  
SkatingTiger: Beka help

Otabek: It’s five in the morning. Why aren’t you sleeping?

SkatingTiger: Oh you know the occasional slap and sexually pained groan coming through these THIN ASS WALLS is slightly disturbing and traumatizing but Pichit wants ‘dirt’ on me and I think he’s got it so I really need to kill him

Otabek: Oh because you wanted that boy’s name right?  
Otabek: It’s not really 'dirt' in terms of blackmail worthy.

SkatingTiger: It is! I only wanted his name because I know he’s Yuuri’s fannnn

Otabek: Oh Pichit thinks you have a crush on him.

SkatingTiger: Wait shittt

SkatingTiger to Pichit.  
SkatingTiger: Do you think I have a crush on miniperson or whoever ? 

PeachyPika: Now I do…

SkatingTiger: FUCKING BEKAAA NOW SHIIIT  
SkatingTiger: I’m not in the mood to threaten you don’t sat this to anyone else

SkatingTiger to Otabek.  
SkatingTiger: Beka quick I need help I’m going to be publiclyyyyy humiliated

Otabek: Sorry I have to sleep.

SkatingTiger: WAiT nO bEKa  
SkatingTiger: Dickhead  
SkatingTiger: Shit what am I gonna do now

PeachyPika added Miniminimemes (fuck how am I gonna keep typing that).

Miniminimemes: HI IM MINAMI PICHITS FRIEND AND NO.1 FAN OF YUURI  
Miniminimemes: Hello

Roar: hi  
Roar: I’m Leo  
Roar: I’m a 19 yr old lion

Gay Honey: HI MINIMINIMEMES MINAMI it’s guang hong btw hru 

Miniminimemes: IM GOOD 

Roar: what about me guan hon  
Roar: I want attention

Gay Honey: Shhhhhush you little attention whore and wait your turn  
Gay Honey: HEY YUURI IS ON THIS CHAT

Miniminimemes: AYYYY REEAALLLLYY wow my idol is here what is he doing right now

Roar: Well  
Roar: According to Pichit who says according to Yuri…

Gay Honey: He’s preoccupied

Miniminimemes: oh ;-; shame but isn’t yuri that Russian yuri with blonde hair. He kinda looks like a girl but you can tell hes a guy... rite?????

Roar: mhm kinda (quite) cute but EVIL AS FUCK

VICTOR’SBAE: THERE ARE CHILDEN HERE LEO SHHSHHSHSH OR MAMA YUURI WILL GET MAD

Gay Honey: ;-; not ;-; cute ;-; thnx ;-; Leo ;-; 

Roar: nuuuuuuuuhhhh your cuteeerrrrr (srry mama yuuri)

Miniminimemes: YUURI OMGGGGGGGG IS THAT REALLY YOU OMG I REALLY CAN TALL TOI YOU QWOW THIS IS AMAXINF PIHIT IS A WONDERFUL, PERSON WOHW MOMMGGGGGG HI IM MINAMI

VICTOR’SBAE: Hi Minami you’re the cute smol skater with the red hair and stuff riht?

Miniminimemes: YES I AM OH WOW IOMG WOW THIS INS WAEWRSOME AAGHHH 

Gay Honey: why dont I have any fngrls

Roar: . . … . you hv me ? 

VICTOR’SBAE: YOUNG LOVE

PeachyPika: Speaking of young love the youngest love is happening inside a Russian fairy  
PeachyPika: In my opinion  
PeachyPika: i mena in terms of love there is love in yuris life thats made by hi or some shit soooooo like half a crush

Gay Honey: SAY WHAT YOU LITTLE FUCK YUURRRRRIRIIIIII 

VICTOR’SBAE: MY SON GREW UP WAAYYYYY TOO FST  HOW DO YOU KNOW

PeachyPika: I cnt tell u rn but l8er sure

SkatingTiger: You still think I can’t understand your shitty ass text talk

Roar: RUN HES HERE

Gay Honey: AIT LEO MY ASHOOELACES 

VICTOR’SBAE: LANGUage youre too yung 

Miniminimemes: Hi IM MINami youre yuri Plisetsky right ? ???

SkatingTiger: I didn’t ask for your fucking name leave me alone 

Miniminimemes: :( why r u so mad i just wanted to introduce myself  
Miniminimemes: i like being on here it seems fun so be happyyyy

PeachyPika: YAAA yuri be HAPPY

Gay Honey: HAPPY AND FREEEE

Roar: idk rlly cant he be whatever he wants to be?  
...  
...  
...  
Roar: okay i take that back then yuri dude you gotta be happy

SkatingTiger: I honestly hate you all why do I keep living with you I’m moving back to Russia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is waaaay shorter I think idk rlly. Erm I left victor out because Yuuri and minamiiiis names are tooo long so if you have any funny short usernames please tell me them. I also just realised how OOC Yuuri sounds in every single one of these fics and wow. and then I realise they all OOC and I facepalm bc it wouldn't be a chat fic if they weren't But, expect a new chappy soon


	3. FUCKIN- oh its just yo-WAIT WHAT TH-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minami arrives in Japan and I can't remember the rest but other things happen and a lot of words are exchanged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahaha okay so this is terrible. like its the worst thing ive written apart from chappy 4 which isnt published yet fuck i should hurry up tbh.
> 
> edit: is it possible to add links bc i type this up on word and use the hyperlink shit there and on quotev ???

Miniminimemes: hey i arrived in japan half an hour ago but i forgot to book a hotel lol and my coach isnt arriving for another two weeks ;-; anyone know any good hotels ???/??

SkatingTiger: Yuuri no  
SkatingTiger: YUURI YOU JUST GASPED LOUDENOUGH FOR ME TO HEAR IT THROUGH THREE WALLS DONT YOU DARE

PeachyPika: ???????????????????????????

VICTOR’SBAE: MINAMI YOU CAN STAY WITH ME VICTOR AND YURI WE HAVE A SPARE ROOM AND PHICHIT LIVES FV MINS AWAYYYYAND THERES ALO A HT SPRING THAT MY PARENTS OWN AND I HELP OUT LOT AND ITLL BE FUN

Miniminimemes: omgGgGMGmgMM Really woiuld that be okay omgggggggg wow 

VICTOR’SBAE: ITS PERFECTLY ALRIGHT 

SkatingTiger: OH yeah just invite someone to listen to your disgusting groaning and occasional screams of Victor’s name. Yep just invite everyone i’m sure the press would loooooooOOoOOOve to hear about your active sex life. You know i could give them all the information they want like about that time you booked a private bath session thing and spent hours gasping and groaning.

PeachyPika: OmmmGggg YURI WHAT THE HELLLL yuuri thIs child lost his innocens to u n victor wtaf  
PeachyPika: haha good blackmail tho

VICTOR’SBAE LEFT.  
SkatingTiger added VICTOR’SBAE

SkatingTiger: NOPE FUCK YOU IF I CANT LEAVE YOU DICKWADS CAN’T LEAVE EITHER

Gay Honey: my eyes need to bleached 

Roar: GUYYYYSYSYSSS YOU MADE GUANG HING WAKE ME UP WHAT TH E F U CK W E RE YO U D OIN G 

SkatingTiger: More like who the fuck was doing Victor last night

PeachyPika: Wow Yuri so grown up ;-;  
PeachyPika: You are a literal angel 

Roar: Erm guyys guang isnt chill with this and dont forget miiiiiiiinaaaaaamiiiiiiii

PeachyPika: oh Noes MINAmi whoops too late

Miniminimemes: whats hapoppened???? Also how do I get to yuuris house im lost ;-;;-;

PeachyPika: oh noes where are you 

SkatingTiger: minami has chicken nugget hair right? Dw ive found him 

Gay Honey: how t he a ctu a ll f cu k Yuri dayum dat ass is fast 

SkatingTiger: IWAS WAS WALKING AROUND AND SHIT OKAY  
SkatingTiger: I haven’t been home since victor mentioned lingerie and that was like four hours ago

Gay Honey: child it’s like half eight in the morning 

SkatingTiger: doooeees anyyuyone hv a carrr I thnk yuri is about to be mobbed or smth 

Yuuri’sChampION: GUYS yuuris got his head in a pillow and he keeps mumbling and then screming and its frustrating bc its noisy and annoying and nit needed and he dosnt do that when hes alone with me in the bed ;-;

Roar: ill come pick you and yuri up k minimi where are you

SkatingTiger: in a ttlll tree by a large road and a shop 

Yuuri’sChampION: HE SCREAMED AGIN HELP 

Gay Honey: jfc erm play him this hemight start cryin but yknow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0tWfZU0b2I

PeachyPika: ;-; fuckin beautiful 

Roar: we are number one really that’s soooooO ded rn

SkatingTiger: wearenumberoneisno1leogoaway.jpg

(http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/197/371/4df.jpg)

Gay Honey: ………

VICTOR’SBAE: GUANG YOU ADORABLE CHILD CAN I ADOPT YOU PLS 

SkatingTiger: is it legal to force someone to stop driving and the lock them out of there own car in japan ???? idkkk cause leo is now sttng in the mddle of the road

Gay Honey: get your game on leo and beat yuris ass or smth its gonna get colder yknow 

SkatingTiger: getyourgameononlyshootingstarsbreakthemoldleo

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_jWHffIx5E)

PeachyPika: idk whther yuri is supplying memes or if minami is or somth im confused 

SkatingTiger: idiotphichit idiotphichithavethesememes  
(https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=idiot+meme&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj7lZaAi7HSAhVqIcAKHcDgAjsQ_AUICCgB&biw=1242&bih=606%23imgrc=9fGesSLtFJ5cMM) 

SkatingTiger: :p

Yuuri’sChampION: pls tell me im not te only confused one

VICTOR’SBAE: WHO IS DOING THIS

PeachyPika: fuck yor rite dayum  
PeachyPika: ;-;

Gay Honey: Leo we need answer 

Roar: It’s…  
Gay Honey: yesssss

Roar: It’s…

PeachyPika: if yor not gonna tell us then don’t 

Roar: THYRE WORKING TOGETHER THIS IS SOME SCARY SHIT RIGHT HRERE THYE LOOK O EVIL THEY ASR SCHEMING IN MY CARARARAR 

VICTOR’SBAE: MY PRECIOUS SMOL SON

SkatingTiger: goodluckwith thisyuurilmao:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bc/d5/85/bcd585d7c0297964ac8fe2cdbdd5ff84.jpg)

PeachyPika: ded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow erm sorry I try to be funny when in reality im just typing letters and them mic=xing them up into sentences which explains why im like this omg why. SO I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to the next chappy which shall be happy and include trans!yuri bc its not been vv obvious yet soooooooo……
> 
> edit: my chapter plans changed when some1 from school gave me a reallllll cool idea so no obvious trans!yuri in this chappy or next;-;


	4. Phichit and Yuuri are gay together (also drunk, idiots, helpful, drunk, gay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of Yuuri x Phichit is unraveled in a moment of panicked shipping between these two besties and Chris feels attacked because Victor is an asshole when it comes to playing games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor- Yuuri'sChampION/Katsudon/no  
> Yuuri-VICTOR'SBAE//done/  
> Minami-Miniminimemes/Red Nugget  
> Chris-SexInHumanForm(wayyyy too long btw)/SexySuccubus
> 
> I changed a few names this chapter and its longer than all the other purely because i spent longer working on it k

Miniminimemes: heeeyyyy is anyone up yet  
Miniminimemes: its lik 6  
Miniminimemes: ice practice skating staaaarts on the morrow of 2morrow  
Miniminimemes: yuri is adorbs when hes sLEEEEPING

PeachyPika: hi minami mind PMing me for just a tad second  
PeachyPika: just send me a selfie in front of yuri or smth

Miniminimemes: will do :PP

VICTOR’SBAE: ;-; SORRY was making coffee DON’T bully yuri phichit 

PeachyPika: srry mama Yuuri but whats gotta be dones gotta be done  
PeachyPika: but minami was RIRGGHHGHTTTT OMMMMGGG he looks totes different to irl when hes scowling and yelling profanities such as ‘FUCK OFF’

VICTOR’SBAE: yuris skins vv soft too  
VICTOR’SBAE: when u look closely his features are soft toooo and resemble more femal-ish features riteeee ???

Miniminimemes: truuuu hes so prettyyy 

PeachyPika: ooohhh rlly  
PeachyPika: minaami cn I hv a sleepover w/ u  
PeachyPika: WAIT YOUR AT YYUURIS RN THTS GR8  
VICTOR’SBAE: this is thrilling

Miniminimemes: hes wkng up Yuuri come stand over his face w/ me

~~  
Minami stood, waiting in the darkest corner of the room to lessen his chances of being seen before Yuuri arrived. He heard the door open and almost squealed in excitement (and almost asked Yuuri for an autograph, out of habit of course) before stepping forward grinning. Yuuri put his thumbs up as Yuri’s phone buzzed yet again. From their position, the two fully awake males could see it was from Phichit, clearly asking for reaction photos. Nodding to each with a fake solomness, the two boys pulled up their cameras. Yuri sniffed, like he was annoyed for some reason. When he unconsciously heard a creak, he grabbed at the bedsheets on top of him smothering his face. Yuuri and Minami stalked closer to their now prey.  
The anticipation was building up and Minamis grin was silly and long, as he’d been grinning for so ,ong his facial muscles fell whilst still smiling. If that makes any sense of course. After settling into position, Yuuri gently nudged the sleeping 16 year old. A barely perceptible growl emitted from under the white bedsheets. Unable to hold it in, the two elder males giggled to themselves and began to poke Yuri, all the while attempting to maintain a sense of eeriness and straight faces.  
Yuri rolled around, growing more and more aware of the sharp but unoticable pokes. His weary eyes slowly opened, the turquoise irises deepening in colour as Yuri focused on the wall he was looking at.  
His room was dark and gloomy, a few leopard print patterns here and there, a pouncing tiger wall sticker directly above him. He groaned once, yawning simultaneously. As he turned his body, still covered by his bedsheets, the young boy was met with two faces, one which seemed to have blood in his hair. Yuri swore. Loudly. And then a flash went off and Yuri’s hands balled into fists and rubbed furiously at his pained eyes, swearing like a sailor.  
~~

Miniminimemes: awwwwww that was soooo MUCH FuN

VICTOR’SBAE: WHO TORT YURI THOSE SWEAR WORDS THO MAMA YUURI IS NOT FUCKING HAPPY ;-; JKJK so smol tho

SkatingTiger: Fucking dickheaded assholes. I finally get some peace and quiet and manage to fall asleep at a decent time to be woken AT 6 A FUCKING M ??????? BLOODY GITSS

PeachyPika: you soundd british jus then m8

SkatingTiger: FUCK you

Yuuri’ChampION has changed their name to Katsudon.  
Katsudon added SexySuccubus.

SexySuccubus: heeyyyoooooo  
SexySuccubus: im chris and I just wanna know you better now ;0  
SkatingTiger: Noone cares about your Taykor Swift fetish Chris fuck off

SexySuccubus: no its tru idk quite a lot of you

VICTOR’SBAE: Why’d you change your name

PeachyPika: YUUri nO

Katsudon: because u like to eat katsudon ;);););););)

SexySuccubus: smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooth

Miniminimemes: HI IM MINAMI IM 17 

SexySuccubus: oobhhhh ur that red headed chicken nugget whos yuuris top fan

Miniminimemes: MEEEEEEE

SexySuccubus: if I was gay id want to eat u right up 

SkatingTiger: Chris you’re such a gay fucking hoe it makes me want to kill myself

Roar: is 6t27 wtf r u up to  
Roar: nevermind  
Roar: hey ive got a suggestion  
Roar: chris u wanna know more about us rite????? ? ? ?? / / // // ? ? ? / ? /  
Roar: NEVER HV I EVAAAAA

Gay Honey: don’t wake me up  

Katsudon: WHOOP WELL PLAY WITH POINTS IUF YOU’VE DONE SOMETHING YOU OSE A POINT

SkatingTiger: I don’t have the time nor patience to deal with this early morning bullcrap I’m going back to sleep

Miniminimemes changed their name to Red Nugget.

Red Nugget: more fitting :)))  
Red Nugget: nuuu ur not goin bck to sleep

~~  
Minami burst intoYuri’s room, not caring that he was only wearing a very long t-shirt and extremely short pajama shorts. He jumped on top of Yuri’s bed and rolled around in it, giggling uncontrollably. His small tooth that was always visible became slightly more pointier when he laughed, longer too as you could see more of it. Yuri growled, opting to perch on the end of his own bed, his cat curled up on his pale feet. Minami stopped his actions, bolting upright and staring at the back of Yuri’s head for a good few seconds. He pulled his gaze away once his phone buzzed.  
~~  
Katsudon: IM STARTING never have I ever came on the ice

SexySuccubus: that’s targeting ;-; 

SkatingTiger: I’m genuinely curious and excited to see if anyone else shares Chris’ strange af obsession and kink

Red Nugget: erm no?????

VICTOR’SBAE: VICCTOOOR THERE ARE CHILDRENS HERE

PeachyPika: wow just Chris

Roar: w t a f Christophe giaccometi or whateva

Gay Honey: Im Too Innocent

Gay Honey: never hv I ever swore be4

SkaitngTiger: how the fuck  
SkatingTiger: Forget it I don’t care

VICTOR’SBAE: GUANG HONG IS INNOCENCE

Red Nugget: ive never said a swear word out LOUD eEYETHR im tryna reach 20 without swerin 

SkatingTiger: Fucking hell

Otabek: Hello. Who’s Red Nugget?

SkatingTiger: Kenjirou Minami

Red Nugget: MINAMI IS MY NAME :p IM JSPNAES so I usually say my name minami kenjirou :P

SkatingTiger: stfu

Otabek: Hello Minami. Nice to meet you.

PeacchyPika: okay OKAY movi on  
PeachyPika: Minami and Guang: 5 Chris:3 Everyone else 4  
PeachyPika: MY TURN  
PeachyPika: never have I ever sucked yuuris dick beforeee and/or kissed/gone out with him:P  
PeachyPika: waiiti it is bad to say something you’ve done  
PeachyPika: idc :P

Yuuri’sChampION changed their name to no.

no: phichit care to explain why ypu’ve done one of those things

VICTOR’SBAE changed their name /done/.

PeakyPika:hahaha me and Yuuri were wiiiillldldd college kidz we were the coolest :P evry1 thought yuuir was well nice but I was the most sociable person. 

/done/: I believe this happened bc of the only time we ever got invited to a party phichit 

Roar: wow u two weren’t popular 

Gay Honey: leo don’t be so horribleee

SkatingTiger: Why would you even go to the party

PeachyPika: …  
PeachyPika: hey hey hey back tot eh game

Red Nugget: NO WAY YOU WERENT POPULAR THAS LIKE SOO HARDD TO BELEVE

PeachyPika: weelll not really but Yuuri had don this favour to sum guy

Roar: we hv to hear the whole story phichit

no: yes the whole story 

SexySuccubus: unless Yuuri ;) wants to tell it ;)

/done/: no  
/done/: why would you even  
/done/: im strting to regret everything tht happened

PeachyPika: should’ve regretted it yers ago Yuuri bc now its time to expose your ass ;)

no:……….

Gay Honey: that’s so gay phichit

Red Nugget: wait is phichit gayyy????

SkatingTiger: the majority of people here are gay with the exception of me, Otabek, Victor, Chris and you(?)

Red Nugget: nope im fairly sure now that im gay

SkatingTiger: oh ffs

PeachyPika: wait ur not gay yuri

no: is tht even possible

/done/: wow yuri lying is bad

Otabek: That’s true.

PeachyPika: aaannnyWayy  
PeachyPika: me and Yuuri were leaving our class and this guy runs rite INTO Yuuri who stumbles and drops his books on me JUST as I get my phone out for a selfie and IT DROPS rite into this girls bag and then the guy asks Yuuri for a favour and its smth to do with this big shit party happening that weekend bc the guy was supposed to hand out invites but had like one class he didn’t skip so Yuuri offered to do it and drop round like all these sick sweets and cakes n stuff so I gv out the invites online and Yuuri drops the stuff off and he cms back with two invites personally for us and shit

SkatingTiger: I’ve realised something. Grammar suddenly DOESN’T EXIST

Red Nugget: yeh it dos

SkatingTiger: Point proven

/done/: phichit jus finish the story

PeachyPika: we go n I spike the drinks n evry1 gets mad at me the next day bc that was the only one not spiked and evry1 got drunk lmao and Yuuri was so nervous he ltrlly jus stood there and drank until he got drunk and he started dancing realllllly well so when it started getting a little too intimate I downed a few ten shots and quicjly dragged him abck to the dorm be4 we both got too drunk and then BAM I sucked his dick he kissed me and the next morning we decided to date because it would be funny and we never officially broke up bc we were best buds aftwralls 

no: wow oh kay

SexySuccubus: ahem legendary

Red Nugget: what

Gay Honey: idk that’s the gayest thing you’ve ever done phichit  
Gay Honey: did Yuuri ever return the favour

PeachyPika: yeh he felt guilty#

/done/: can we stop now

SkatingTiger: Fucking disgusting I’m moving back to fucking Russia and living with Yakov or some shit. Anythings better than here. 

no: don’t be so rood and horrible

SkatingTiger: Victor you distracted me. Now all my fucks have floated away. See? Not a single fuck here to give.

Otabek: Yuri you don’t be that mean. You can stay at my apartment I have a spare room and it’s close. Ish.

SkatingTiger: Oh look a fuck magically appeared. No thanks to you Victor

Red Nugget: ;-; so adorable

PeachyPika: ik

Gay Honey: ive been chocking the past five minutes what do you mean he felt guilty

Roar: true hes having trouble breathing properly right now

PeakyPika: he felt guilty idkw   
PeachyPika: hes good isn’t he victor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

no: I feel like a threesome is in order sometime soon 

PeachyPika: hmu whenever

/done/: omfg

SkatingTiger left the group.  
/done/ left the group.  
Red Nugget left the group.  
Gay honey left the group.

no: yuri just yelled fucking pig from his room offended# ;-;

PeachyPika: that was prolly to Yuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so this is waaayyyy overdue and written over the course of several nights because I procrastinate and write it late at night when I need sleep sooooooo go figure. Its not even the night anymoire its just really early in the morning for me lmao. Hope you enjoyed this shit fest (thumbs up) because its slurred and really not funny ;-; Minami’s new username is from a Nameless person so thank you and I’m currently tryna think of ways to mix katsudon with something funny so youll get see thst masterpiece.


	5. you learn about ENGLISH shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek literally drags Yuri half way across the world to England and then the two promptly wake everyone up at early O'clock in the morning a week later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahahah so the timezones may be a little off in this chapter. The beginning bit starts of at around 3 am and then ends at around 4/half 4 am in Japan.  
>  Yuri and Otabeks flight leaves at 9pm in england but they arrive in japan at 4pm.  
>  TIMEZONES! Anyway yeah thats it. this is terrible and i was so tired when i wrote this. I'm terrible with love so erm how long would it take for minami and yuri to get together?   
> idk. Enjoy.  
> also did you know I was British??? Now you do

**Otabek to SkatingTiger.**  
Otabek: Hey do you remember that friend you heard about? Wanna go meet him?

SkatingTiger: Erm won’t we have to go to England

Otabek: I’m buying tickets right now.

SkatingTiger: Dude what’s up

Otabek: I have things to tell you and history interests me. 

SkatingTiger: Jfc let’s go  
SkatingTIger: You, you little shit, are buying me souvenirs and little bobblehead figures and shit

Otabek: Well.

 **~~A week later~~**  
**~~3 AM in the goddamned morning~~  
**~~Everyone has been added back to the chat and threatened not to leave~~****

****

**SkatingTiger has changed the group name to AIRPLANES.**

Otabek: A yo yo yo yo yo what time is it?

SkatingTiger: SHOW TIME

PeachyPika: what are you doing

SkatingTiger: Ahhhh mon petit dejeuner has arrived  
SkatingTiger: _**(fileofdarklaughter)**_

PeachyPika: French is a scary language  
PeachyPika: Otabek help

Otabek: ;)

PeachyPika: wha  
PeachyPika: dude what

SkatingTiger: Phichit Can I let you in on a little secret?

PeachyPika: if it really is a secret

SkatingTiger: _**(file:recording)**_

PeachyPika:loud and scary

/done/: its 3 am yuri where are you

SkatingTiger: at an airport in England  
SkatingTiger: with otaBAEEEEE

Otabek: _**(jpg.selfie)**_

/done/: what the bloody hell are you doing in an English airport at 3 AM YURI  
/done/: OTABE I THORT U WERE RESPONSIBLE

SkatingTiger: wow rude we went to see a musical and went to a dudes house who Otabek knows

Otabek: Don’t worry Ms K your son was safe. 

SkatingTiger: NOT HIS SON

/done/: aren’t you guys worried about all the practice youve missed  
/done/: yakov is vv pissed rn

SkatingTiger: We practiced in England get over it

Otabek: Our flight leaves at 9pm. It’s 6pm right now. 

SkatingTiger: We got bored and wanted airport souvenirs and wanted to look a t planes

/done/: immature children

PeachyPika: you weren’t raped were you or mugged or bullied  
PeachyPika: because yuri yiu seem like an easy target and I mean your body is flawless  
PeachyPika: I mean Otabek may look strong but he also wouldn’t hurt a fly

SkatingTiger: HEY LOOK AT THAT THERE’S AN EARLIER FLIGHT WE CAN CATCH SAY PHICHIT WHY DON’T YOU COME PICK US UP LATER

PeachyPika: NOPE IM FINE YOU STAY IN ENGLAND I WAS CONCERNED FOR THOSE WHO TRIED TO MUG YOU YOUR LETHAL AND SCARY

Otabek: He bought a pocket knife and argued with the police.

/done/: yuri why

SkatingTiger:well now Ihave a weapon that can be easily concealed and they said I couldn’t drink alcohol.  
SkatingTiger: I am Russian I can drink alcohol if I want to 

no: is tru tho 

/done/: you ar e not dr in k ing u nd er my r oof 

SkatingTiger: I’ll do it in the garden

PeachyPika: jesus yurio

SkatingTiger: FCUK you  
SkatingTiger: NOT my PARENT  
SkatingTiger: I just live with you because I’m fifteen

/done/: don’t get sassy w/ me

PeachyPika: yuri is rebelling  
PeachyPika: such edge  
PeachyPika: such emo  
PeachyPika: such weird

/done/: pichit shhhh

PeachyPika: srry mama Yuuri

Otabek: Yuri chill.

SkatingTiger: It’s not like I’ve ever asked Otabek to buy alcohol for me, or that I’ve never stoled any of yours

PeachyPika: unexpected

/done/: OTABEK HAVE YOU TAINTED MY CHILD MY JOY MY PRIDE MY SMALL SON

SkatingTiger: I AM NOT PART OF YOUR FUCKING WEIRD FAMILY 

no changed their name to OHSHIT.

Otabek: How rebellious Yura.  
Otabek: Don’t blame me if you keep stealing alcohol.  
Otabek: Yuuri I merely try to help your son  
Otabek: I try to guide him to the right path and then he justs…  
Otabek: He is very important to all of us and I know that I should try harder.  
Otabek: I’m very sorry this has happened under my guidance.  
Otabek: Being the responsible adult I feel I need to take the blame.  
Otabek: Yura just doesn’t know how to control himself.  
Otabek: I think to myself that I could try harder, I could be better at what I am here to do.  
Otabek: But then I just fail.  
Otabek: But I’m trying mama Yuuri and I believe that one day…  
Otabek: Maybe, maybe I’ll be as good as you.

SkatingTiger: Oh please stop bullshitting

PeachyPika: DUDE SHHH that was so moving

SkatingTiger: How in the fuck was any of that moving  
SkatingTiger: It was literally a shitty script for a romance movie or some shit

/done/: I forvige you oatbek ;- its okay you try ur best

OHSHIT: beautfil u can rlly feel the emotion

Gay Honey: so pure

SkatingTiger: when the fuck did you get here

Gay Honey: idk half way through that speech my phone was pingin real loud and im round at leos so I didn’t wanna wake him up and you guys wouldn’t stop and so I decided to just stay online and eat ice cream

/done/: OOH YOUR AT LEOS

PeachyPika: I will go down with these ships

SkatingTiger: What ships

Otabek: Isn’t it obvious.

OHSHIT: not rlly  
OHSHIT: r there any obvious ships

PeachyPika: erm

OHSHIT: whos actually in a relationship 

Gay Honey: rlly victor

OHSHIT: I mean im in one in case you didn’t know

/done/: 

SkatingTiger:

Gay Honey: 

PeachyPika:

Otabek: 

Roar:

Gay Honey: WAIT LEO?? ?? ?? 

Roar: sup 

SkatingTiger: aren’t you upposed to be sleeping

Roar: nah I woke up a minute ago and im now putting pizza in my microwave

PeachyPika: why 

Roar: guangs normally hungry when he wales up but hes not eaten anything

Gay Honey: how do you know tht

Roar: because you wouldn’t wanna wake me so you didt try to make food and you eat immediately whenever you wake up sooo

PeachyPika: awwwww he noticed

/done/: that’s so cute

OHSHIT: wow Yuuri do you notive things abt me

SkatingTiger: ~~maybe that you're annoying~~

Otabek: shh Yura the adults are talking

SkatingTiger: Erm Beka aren’t you supposed to be my friend

Otabek: Sorry bb but you aren’t experienced enough

SkatingTiger: Wow

/done/: I npoticed that ur vv clingy victor  
/done/: and that you always eat half my food  
/done/: and you steal my glasses  
/done/: you take up most of the bed  
/done/: and you never wash up

OHSHIT: but Yuuri I luv youuuu  
OHSHIT: pls forgive me ill wash up rn if you want

/done/: nah ilyt 

OHSHIT: rllyyy ??? ?

/done/: more than I love katsudon

SkatingTIger: Disgusting

PeachyPika: YOU INTERRUPTED ANOTHER PERFECT MOMENT ;-; IM CRGINY JESUS YURI STOP MY SHIPER HEART IS BR E A KI NG

SkatingTiger: GO o D  
SkatingTiger: Cr y yo u We I rd Tha I land skatER Th I nG 

Otabek: HEY YURa I found some cool cat calendars!

SkatingTiger: I will follow you in your dreams Phichit beware but rn I got cats to get to

Gay Honey: so I just read nack a few messges  
Gay Honey: and pohicht you may want to scroll up a little 

PeachyPika: nop nop NOPPODY NOPE NOPEEE NOPIDUTY NO

Roar: Y

/done/: how far back

Gay honey: just before ur speech

OHSHIT:y

Gay Honey:  
Gay Honey: jus do oit

PeachyPika: DO U THNK THERYRE DATING

OHSHIT: MAYBE

PeachyPika: well theyre not

 **Gay Honey to PeachyPika.**  
Gay Honey: dude howd you kno theyre not datin

PeachyPika:bc yuri thnks some1 else is cute  
PeachyPika: nd I thnk tht it will work out

Gay Honey: does Otabek kno this???

PeachyPika: prbly yh y

Gay Honey: they jus seem rlly close thts all

PeachyPika: tru mybe I shud check brb

 

 **PeachyPika to Otabek.**  
PeachyPika: how otaBAE don’t tell yuri im textin u but speaking of yuri does he have any cruishes hes told u abt

Otabek: M aybe.

PeachyPika: so mind telling me

Otabek: fuck off pishit

PeachyPika: YURAAAA TELL ME DO U HV A CRUSH ON MY LIL FRIE N D CHIGGEN NUGGET  
PeachyPika: thts kenjirou btw

Otabek: go fuck urself pichit jesus

PeachyPika: ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEP THIS IS MESS  
> in the next chappie imma gonna link my tumblr account made for this fanfic and just generally YOI things. Im currently trying to draw fanart for pliami bc its such a rarepair and theres nit enough.  
> thanks for reading and please leave kudos and comment and just generally make me feel appreciated thank you


	6. Yuri loves nail polish  # confirmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Victor gets upset, Yuri gets upset, everyone gets upset and it ends with implied Plinami snuggles and cuddles with Mama Yuuri to watch over them. Enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO TIRED  
> I GOT HOME LIKE AN HOUR AGO??? AND I WAS SO TIRED ALL DAY??? AND I HAD A MATHS TEST?? I cheated lol  
> But yeah I was hyped this mornig like my schedule was on POINT  
> And if id try to write this it woulda been a LITERAL mess  
> And now  
> I put on hey ya??? And it’s a mess  
> My poster kaneki is judging  
> Kaneki judges me  
> Help my poster is evil???  
> AnYWAY im taking requests so please request something so this story doesn’t literally fucking fail like it Has BEeeN so yeah i love those of you who give me kudos bless you pure tikes

/done/: thats it im killing myself  
/done/: i cant take it anymire

SkatingTiger: Good bye and good riddance

OHSHIT: wait what yuuri no

PeachyPika: again rlly

/done/: no im being serious i cant do this anymore im done im gone i have no will to live no reason what so ever

SkatingTiger: welcome to my life piglet

OHSHIT: OMG STOP PLS

PeachyPika: we all knew it was gon na come down to this

 

OHSHIT: wait but what  
OHSHIT: YOYRE NOT JK

/done/: no i cant  
/done/: GO oN no mOre  
/done/: My heAd iS POunDing AnD I fEEl like sHIt

PeachyPika: lmao same

SkatingTiger: Relatable ^^

Gay Honey: is victor crying yet

/done/: oh he was bawling before i even started and now i get katsudon, free hugs clingy victor my bae and he promised to do my nails i can live its okay i take it back i love this precious thing so much

SkatingTiger: Victor doesn’t have nail polish though

/done/: whered??? he??? get??? it??? from??? Then???

OHSHIT: Спасибо yurio

**OHSHIT left the chat.**

SkatingTiger: OMFG HE STOLE MI

**SkatingTiger left the chat.**

Gay Honey: so u kno how yurio is vv hating of his femine body

PeachyPika: femine but ye

Gay Honey: fcuk off  
Gay Honey: he sure was open bout his nail polish

/done/: i told him it was okay bc he thought it was therapuetic but too femine

Gay Honey: no stop  
Gay Honey: its FEMINIE

/done/: oh  
/done/: okay  
/done/: too feminie

PeachyPika: so??? he likes?? nail polish??

/done/: _**yurididhisandmynails.jpg**_

PeachyPika: hOlY SHiT I waNt HiM TO Do miNe

Gay Honey: OOOHHH TIGER STRIPES AND BLUE PWEETY SPARKLES hes so good omg like what  
Gay Honey: im gay for his nail art like i cant joke

PeachyPika: im just gay tbh

/done/: yeah well im perfectly happy where i am l o L  
/done/: w8 im dating a guy h oly s h it i m g ay w h oo ps  
/done/: lemme just  
/done/: just go

Gay Honey: i literally stayed at leos house for four days and all we did was cuddles nice warm fluffy cuddles i love him he is my lion

PeachyPika: ‘cuddles’

/done/: PHISHIT NO

PeachyPika: ^^

Gay Honey: wat

PeachyPika: PISHIT YES   
PeachyPika: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

/done/: NO

Gay Honey: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

/done/: waT NO UR INNOCENCE GUANG

Roar: well  
Roar: so can we have a kink discussion because i feel like i need to clarify that none of y’all are kinkshaming gits because if i have anyweird kinks later on in life  
Roar: i want y’all to back me up

Otabek: Phichit.  
Otabek: Why have I sent messages to you without receiving a reply.   
Otabek: # Offended Pishit, I want an answer please thank you. 

PeachyPika: that last one was yuri u cant fool me   
PeachyPika: ur precious yura deleted my message then 

Otabek: Yes, my precious Yura so leave him alone.  
Otabek: Or else. Спасибо.

PeachyPika: o.O

/done/: aww my son is safe with otabae can i call you otabae bc ur now my fave child apart from my son

Otabek: I would be honoured Mama Yuuri.

PeachyPika: CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Otabek: oh yes I’m totally going out with Beka you have us all figured out Phichit  
Otabek: now leave me and Beka the fuck alone I’m trying to sleep and forget that Victor exists 

/done/: hey mbc whats?? Up??

Otabek: HE LITERALLY FUCKING SMASHED A POT OF NAIL POLISH LIKE  
Otabek: VICTOR??? DO YOU??? HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE?? WERE YOU?? DROPPED?? ON YOUR HEAD??? AS A BABY?? BECAUSE THAT SHITCOST A LOOTTT OF MONEY AND IT WAS MY FAVOURITE AND NOW I CANT DO FUCKING TIGER STRIPES AND THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO FUCKING SMILE???? AT MEE SMILE?????? WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK VICTOR YOU PRICK DONT SMILE AT ME I WANT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND THEN  
Otabek: THEN HE FUCKING KNOCKS OVER THE NAIL POLISH YUURI HE KNOCKS IT OVER NOW IM SOBBING 

/done/: awww no kitten my son shhh its okay  
/done/: ill but u more tomorrow k??

Otabek: yeh sure butim sleeping now bye

PeachyPika: hes so mad over nail stuff???? ? ? ? WAT

Gay Honey: hes sobbing im sobbing who even cares anymore i want him to paint my nails

Roar: aww no shhhh Mama Yuuri help

/done/: Mama Yuuri to the rescue Guang shh its alright yurio loves painting nails hes just upset with victor. Ill even buy him the polish you want okay and hell definitely do any difficult pattern just ask hes stubborn and he'll do it no matter what mood hes in hes okay hes a tiger he will fight you to do your nails he doesnt charge and hes always nice whilst doing it and he gets you tea and if something upsets him he'll carry on because he loves us all really and painting nailss

Gay Honey: what sort of tiger tho

/done/: a skating tiger

PeachyPika: YUURI NO

/done/: YUURI FUCKING YES PHICHIT DONT YOU ‘NO’ UR Mama Yuuri 

PeachyPika:...........

Roar: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

/done/:i have cancer

PeachyPika: what?? Type??

/done/: THE TYPE THAT COMES FROM SEEING SO MANY FUCKING STUPID ASS PERVERTED EMOTICONS OKAY y’all need jesus

Red Nugget: neo  
Red Nugget: marish  
Red Nugget: varicose  
Red Nugget: outbid  
Red Nugget: ohmic  
Red Nugget: all words ^^  
Gay Honey: relatable

Roar: how in the 

Gay Honey: also ^^ relatable  
Gay Honey: im so relatable 

Roar: i did a really good drawing but i gotta draw an animal head on it  
Roar: how?? Do i do this  
Roar: im drawing a toucan head btw **_toucanheadpls.jpg_**  
Roar: does it look unatural with the beak that way ^^

/done/: its a human body!!!!!  
/done/: with a toucan head?!!!  
/done/: ofc it looks unatural 

Roar: oh ……………… random

Gay Honey: i spent a full minute appreciating a tree on the way home

PeachyPika: why only a minute  
PeachyPika: shameful

Gay Honey: i was tired you asshatted pishitted dick 

PeachyPika: cry me a ocean

Red Nugget: rvr  
Red Nugget: its river broski

/done/: oh g OD no say thart ever again nope #

Red Nugget: oh kay

Gay Honey: see u guys at practice im marathoning fuck y’all

Roar: so aggresive but so elegant goodbye good riddance

/done/: /done/

Red Nugget: YUURI CAN WE WATCH SMTH

/done/: yh sure

Red Nugget: OMGG!!11!1!!1 DED1!!!!!1111!! MOVIES???!!?!WITHMY!!!111!!IDOL AGHHHHH   
Red Nugget: can we hv hot chocolate and blankets and fall asleep on the sofa

/done/: okay unlike Guang and Phichit etc we dont hv practice. Neither does yurio actually we should invite him hell appreciate the snuggles and snacks

Red Nugget: YES!! ! 1 11 1! ! OMG WE CAN ALL HAPPILY WATCH MOVIES AND ARGUE AND CUDDLE !w11!1! 1WOW thnx Mama Yuuri

PeachyPika: awww uve bonded with yurio already

Red Nugget: yep he sometimes sends me memes but always ses horrible things if i reply ;-;  
Red Nugget: example : I’m just sending you some memes jfc no need to be best buddies over it

Roar: but

Gay Honey: he didnt

PeachyPika: swear????????//?/?/?

Red Nugget: no <3 hes nice to me sucks to be you

/done/: awww my son has two friends now we shuld hv a party but anyway were gonna go ive set everything up minami i just need to get yurio

PeachyPika: wait ur going

Gay Honey: so am i bye

Roar: well  
Roar: i want pizza im out

PeachyPika: ……………..

SexySuccubus: wats up

PeachyPika: yeah no good bye good ridance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a mess  
> i am a mess  
> please comment any requests or certain things you want to see I'll do almost anything  
> we're also seeing more trans!yuri shit in this and I just want to say that painting your nails is therapeutic af especially when it's done and it'sall shiny 'n smooth   
> Some of this was actuualy taken from a gc I'm on where there are like 2 straight people and its a mess so   
> In the next chapter: Plinami snuggles and movies and skating practice


	7. KiNKSHaMiNG THe KiNKSHaMeR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Leo has a kinkshaming kink, is a masochist, and none of them actually know how to ice skate without trying something stupid and injuring themselves. Phichit dabs, Yuri swears and Minami loses his phone. Enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA No but seriously when was the last time I updated any of the 7(hundred) fanfictions that I’ve got carelessly strewn across multiple different websites  
> Today  
> I guess  
> BEFORE I FORGET I CHANGED THE NAME OF THE FANFIC BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE LIKED IT  
> IT MAES SENSE I PROMISE

Gay Honey: i tried doing a quad earlier today

SkatingTiger: Good I hope you failed

/done/: did you loand it

Gay Honey: ha NO i instead slammed into the wall and nearly broke my nose.  
Gay Honey: I’m excused from oractice for half an hour

SkatingTiger: wat disney movi are u geting yuuri  
SkatingTiger: we shuld watch tht new one later if we dont fall asleep zzzz

/done/: weve already seen the lion king and pinochio  
/done/: hunchback of notre dame  
/done/: beauty and the beast and snow white weve seen too right???  
/done.: also y only half an hour 

Gay Honey: r u seriously still marathoning

SkatingTiger: Yes because we’re not weak  
SkatingTiger: bring in the little mermaid nextttt

Gay Honey: yurio wats up with your tyoing

SkatingTiger: What’s up with your typos you uneducated fuck  
SkatingTiger: so srry guang <3  
SkatingTiger: Don’t send stuff like that from my phone

PeachyPika: Guang Guang Guang Hoongg video meeeee 

SkatingTiger: Attention whore

PeachyPika: ^^ the truth comes out

SkatingTiger: Attention kink confirmed

PeachyPika: okay 0-100 is not okay 

Gay Honey: its tru tho  
Gay Honey: _**(phichitsstupidassroutine)**_

SkatingTiger: Did you actually dab whilst skating???

PeachyPika: yesssssssss

/done/: phichit u are the living incarnation of memes

SkatingTiger: Oh no you fucking didn’t  
SkatingTiger: lezgo yuraa

/done/: shit they were looking really cute all cuddled uo but they just fucking turned at me like OWLS i am terrified of OWLS help 

PeachyPika: I’m skating nd t  
PeachyPila: im gon na ty jump

/done/: phichit pls dont 

SkatingTiger: go phochhit go go phichit go

Gay Honey: im gonna stop him  
Gay Honey: i cant help hes gon too fast

PeachyPika : its fine ready and gook nd c fģfgffgfggg

Gay Honey: MAN DOWN MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

Roar: i walk in amd the furst thing i see is my bf amd that thai thing talking both with blood on their faces  
Roar: im going to ignore them and practice 

SkatingTiger: Amateurs 

/done/: ohmygod dont do anything stupid yurio

PeachyPika: think u can do better yuri  
PeachyPika: bet u cant tale a selfie whilst doing a jump

Gay Honey: that thai thing

SkatingTiger: scrEEch no  
SkatingTiger: Yesss give me a week you little Thai fuckboy  
SkatingTiger: If I do it you have to do whatever I tell you to for a week  
SkatingTiger: Apart from murder, drugs, rape or any type of sexual assault

PeachyPika: wellll shit 

/done/: yurio you cant make him commit any sexual acts 

SkatingTiger: I'm fifteen 

Gay Honey: sixteen in 11 days 

SkatingTiger: waaiit wat is ut rlly u never told meeeeeeee!!!,?!???!?@?@  
SkatingTiger: STOP USING MY PHONE YOU LITTLE RED THING 

Gay Honey: tame 

PeachyPika: weak

/done/: pitifull 

SkatingTiger: Fuck you and you and you none of you mean anything to me, you're all dead to me you stupid pricks

Red Nugget: i foind my fone 

Gay Honey: i just tealized smth

PeachyPika: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SIXTEEN IN 11 DAYS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE ME LISTEN TO JUSTIN BEIBER AND MAKE ME MASTURBATE JUST SO YOU CAN PROVE THAT I ACTUALLY DO THAT BECAUSE I DON'T

Gay Honey: the end of that sentence  
Gay Honey: anyway yuuri  
Gay Honey: im disappointed in you  
Gay Honey: u say ur son is cuddled up with someone and you dont send pictures as proof 

SkatingTiger: Yuuri has a son?

PeachyPika: leo tried a quad  
PeachyPika: he fell and got back up immediately  
PeachyPika: talk about taking one for the team

Gay Honey: he did it again 

/done/: id take a picture of my son but hes spammin me with memes 

Red Nugget: yuuri hurry up

PeachyPika: its like he's on replay 

Gay Honey: GuyS iM coNcERnEd fO r mY BF  
Gay Honey: _**(whysomanyquadsleowhat)**_

/done/: douse him in alcohol gotta blast 

Gay Honey: yuuri?

PeachyPika: im gonna go practice my routine see ya loser 

Gay Honey: ur nose is still bleeding 

PeachyPika: im a party animal

Gay Honey: and bleeding 

PeachyPika: you will never know the true meaning of love and you will live a lonely life

Gay Honey: didn't hear you to busy living it up with my BO I F RI E ND BOIII

PeachyPika: betrayed 

Gay Honey: you are my boifriend phichit 

Roar: betrayed

Gay Honey: ur my boyfriend how do u not know this yet

PeachyPika: well your boyfriend seems to be a masochist 

Roar: no im not

PeachyPika: do you get off from pain 

Roar: n o 

PeachyPika: do you fantasise at night about being whippgeddc  
PeachyPika: from me and guang

Gay Honey: that wAsnT mEAnt tO sEnd 

Roar: don't kinkshame the kinkshamer 

PeachyPika: so you have a kinkshaming kink confirmed

…  
…  
…  
…  
…  
PeachyPika: oh wait i forgot there's a young child here 

SkatingTiger: I'm nOt A mOrhErfUckIng chIld yOU prIck 

PeachyPika: go back to watching disney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always open to suggestions and I can add anything into this poorly scripted and terrible mess of a fanfiction if you request it  
> 


	8. BRoKeN PHoNeS aND CRuSHeS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is exposed by Phichit and Otabek makes unnecessary comments for no good reason. Chris says something potentially scarring and a phone gets broken. It's all good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I forgot to update this again  
> I think ive been preoccupied with stuff  
> Like MM  
> Please people recommend stuff to me or request funny scenarios you might like to see im not a funny guy i cant do this on my own  
> Also my daily fuel is kudos comments bookmarks so dont forget to… do all those things and subscribe or something because FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC  
> Also have an extra long chapter to make up for me being away

SkatingTiger: Why can’t the author remember all the characters?

PeachyPika: who

SkatingTiger: Because she’s a dumb prick with a shitty memory

PeachyPika: say what

SkatingTiger: ?

Red Nugget: we have practice today  
Red Nugget: i get to see yuuuriiii skaate omg squeeee  
Red Nugget: sorry hehe i get really exicted whenever i see yuuri skate

SkatingTiger: Of course you do

PeachyPika: aww is some1 jelly 

SkatingTiger: I will shove you in a vat of oil I swear to God

Red Nugget: jelly????????? 

PeachyPika: ahh my child i will have to educate you on the ways of yuri

SkatingTiger: What does that even mean 

PeachyPika: so yurio pretends to not like anyone but he has a close friend called otabek who he’s not lowkey in love with and they act like bros but who knows

SkatingTiger: Shut the fuck up before I throw you in the bin 

PeachyPika: BUT IM THAI FOOD 

SkatingTiger: All the more reason, I’ve never liked Thai

PeachyPika: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**SexySuccubus changed their name to  AssAssAssAss.**

SkatingTiger: Oh look it’s a filthy parasite someone please remove it

AssAssAssAss: IM HURT  
AssAssAssAss: AND IN PAIN

SkatingTiger: Good stay that way and maybe we’ll all find happiness

AssAssAssAss: DO YOU FIND AMUSEMENT IN MY PAIN

SkatingTiger: Yes. Always.

AssAssAssAss: yurio one day youl fall in love 

PeachyPika: that is so out of context why 

Red Nugget: so according to phichit yuri is in love

SkatingTiger: No I’m not in love. I have never been in love. All I need is myself and my skates.

PeachyPika: edgy

SkatingTiger: FUCK YOU

PeachyPika: guyssssss i want to update my instagram and twitter accounts buuuuttt  
PeachyPika: I need a LARGE group SELFIE and i DONT know where you ARE

Red Nugget: doesnt everyone have practice today

PeachyPika: AH MINAMI I LOVE YOU THANK YOU I MUST PREPARE LATERZ

SkatingTiger: Dumbass

AssAssAssAss: I  
AssAssAssAss: am the only ass  
AssAssAssAss: that you need.  
AssAssAssAss: So just  
AssAssAssAss: ignore that weirdo.  
AssAssAssAss: ;)

**SkatingTiger has removed  AssAssAssAss from the groupchat.**

 

Red Nugget: chris is weird

Otabek: He does appear to be.

SkatingTiger: Sup  
SkatingTiger: DON’T TOUCH MY PHONE PIGLET

/done/: hiya lol

Red Nugget: YUURI IS NOT A PIGLET HE IS A GRACEFUL BEAUTY YOURE JUST JEALOUS HES BETTER THAN YOU

SkatingTiger: BETTER SINCE WHEN? WHO BEAT THE PIGGY IN THE GRAND PRIX HUH? ME.

Red Nugget: NOT BY MUCH AND HE DID WAY BETTER ON HIS FREE SKATE

SkatingTiger: YEAH WELL I DID WAY BETTER ON MY SHORT PROGRAM YOU BLONDE LITTLE FUCK

Otabek: Why are they even arguing?

/done/: dont slam doors yurio

SkatingTiger: fuck you  
SkatingTiger: Otabek I’m gonna pm you

PeachyPika: kinky

SkatingTiger: Wtaf 

 

**SkatingTiger to Otabek:**

SkatingTiger: Can we go out straight after practice please

Otabek: Where to though?

SkatingTiger: Somewhere we won’t be found by Phichit

Otabek: Why?

SkatingTiger: Because you’re my only friend and I don’t like any of the others and they're bullying me

Otabek: Lying to yourself is not advised.

SkatingTiger: Shut up prick  
SkatingTiger: But anyway please take me to a cafeeee

Otabek: Phichit said you like someone.

SkatingTiger: When did he say that???

Otabek: The author forgot but it probably happened.  
Otabek: I’ll take you if you tell me.

SkatingTiger: BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY

Otabek: Fine I won’t take you.

SkatingTiger: I DO NOT LIKE ANYONE 

Otabek: DeNiaL RiGHT THeRe YuRi

SkatingTiger: *Пошевелите полюс своей задницей

Otabek: ???

SkatingTiger: I’m not telling you who it is

Otabek: So you do have a crush?

SkatingTiger: NO I FUCKING NOT  
SkatingTiger: *I DO

Otabek: Oh so you do. Does Phichit know who? I’ll ask him.

SkatingTiger: DON’T PLEASE

Otabek: Well you’re not going to tell me are you?

SkatingTiger: …

 

**Otabek to PeachyPika:**

Otabek: Hey Phichit, I was wondering if you knew who Yuri has a crush on?

PeachyPika: everything comes with a price my dear otabek

Otabek: ?

PeachyPika: minami

Otabek: Hm hm.

 

**Otabek to SkatingTiger:**

Otabek: You’d make a very cute couple.

SkatingTiger: I’M BURNING THE MEMORIES, BURNING THE LETTERS, THAT MIGHT HAVE REDEEMED YOU!

Otabek: What.

SkatingTiger: Nothing

 

**PeachyPika to Ice Made Us All Gay**  
**PeachyPika changed the name to Gaytes**

SkatingTiger: Phichit what the fuck

PeachyPika: skates+gays

Otabek: How imaginative.

Roar: SO hows everyone doing  
Roar: were all going to practice right  
Roar: it starts in an hour and a half by the way

PeachyPika: thanks for the unecessary warning

Otabek: Leo can’t help but say unnecessary things because they’re the most relatable things he’ll ever say in his life.

Roar: ...did you just

Otabek: Yes, is there a problem. 

Red Nugget: i  
Red Nugget: dont get it

Roar: omg why i said one thing one

/done/: were all going  
/done/: guys  
/done/: does anyone have a spare phone

PeachyPika: why???  
PeachyPika: ill bring one to practice

Red Nugget: did you break your phone yuuri???

PeachyPika: GUYS DONT FORGET IM GETTIN A GROUP SELFIE I GOT LOADS OF FOLLOWERS AFTER ANNOUNCING THE GROUP SELFIE ON INSTAGRAM

Otabek: That’s a very indirect way of saying that you only have followers because you post pictures of their idols and people that they actually like. 

PeachyPika: bundle of joy

/done/: yuri threw his phone at the wall  
/done/: and completely smashed it

Red Nugget: …

Roar: …

PeachyPika: …

Otabek: …

Gay Honey: …

Roar: <3

Gay Honey: <3

/done/: i heard a smash and so i walked to his room and hes just sitting there in a binder and leggins painting his nails and his phone is in pieces on the floor  
/done/: Oi Phichit I’m leaving practice half an hour earlier than you  
/done/: Also yes please bring one of your countless and unnecessary phones that you have hoarded in your cupboard

PeachyPika: why did you break your phone

Red Nugget: yeh now i cant message you :(

/done/: THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN

Otabek: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

/done/: Otabek please

Otabek: I’m your only friend so I can do what I like

PeachyPika: so ur not dating

Otabek: Yuri is very lovely and graceful and handsome however,  
Otabek: I have someone else I like and  
Otabek: so does Yuri.

/done/ has removed Otabek from Gaytes

/done/: I do not like anyone

Gay Honey: awww so cute 

Red Nugget: he just hissed at me 

Roar: hissed?

Red Nugget: im convinced hes part cat 

Roar: hes probably gonna have some sort of cat type kink when hes older

PeachyPika: just like you have a dog type kink

Roar: I don’t remember disclosing my personal kinks to you. 

PeachyPika: i was joking

/done/: THERE ARE CHILDREN SHUT THE FUCK UP 

Gay Honey: i dont think I have any kinks???

Red Nugget: nor do i

Roar: pure

PeachyPika: so  
PeachyPika: if you ever fuck someone are you gonna get them to wear dog ears 

Roar: NO i was jokin jesus christ

/done/: children guys pls stop

PeachyPika: are you gonna make them beg and wag their ‘tail’ at you

Roar: that doesnt sound half bad 

/done/: g u y s p l s d o n t d o t h i s t mwe i give up

Red Nugget: we dont have tails

PeachyPika: im dying omg so adorable

Red Nugget: aww thank you

Gay Honey: god i wish i was as pure as minami you two are disgusting 

PeachyPika: you secretly want it

Gay Honey: i really dont

Roar: rip

PeachyPika: rip

Gay Honey: omg im gone 

Red Nugget: ??????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again if you want to you can ask or request anything be put in here. I mean some things won't be put it but the majority of things probably will.  
> So ask away guys you're all great for reading this  
> Also I'm really sorry if this made no sense and if anyone gets my very subtle reference hit me up


	9. BIRTHDAYS PLanNinG FoR yuRiO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've continued this chapter but I didn't because it was sitting in my docs for over a month and I felt guilty.

PeachyPika: ugh   
PeachyPika: ughhh  
PeachyPika: bleurgh  
PeachyPika: arghhh  
PeachyPika: yuri i know ur luurking come out come out ;)

SkatingTiger: What

PeachyPika: so cold :(

SkatingTIger: I’m not dealing with your BS today Phichit 

PeachyPika: okay kay i was just thinkin we should do a gc sleepover  
PeachyPika: yurio?  
PeachyPika: yurrii????

SkatingTiger: Fuck off

PeachyPika: but whyy I’m bored

SkatingTiger: Go bother someone else

PeachyPika: isnt it ur B-Day tomozoowwws

SkatingTiger: No

PeachyPika: IT TOTALLY IS WE GOTTA HAVE A BIG SKATER PARTY   
PeachyPika: my followers would double in an instant   
PeachyPika: So Many Selfie Oportunities Yuri!!!!!!

SkatingTiger: Fuck off Phichit, my phone’s blowing up with notifications

PeachyPika: just turn ur notifs off then  
PeachyPika: why are u the only one online anyway ur so grumpy

SkatingTiger: I’m waiting for someone to message me 

PeachyPika: ur boyfriend???

SkatingTiger: No

PeachyPika: okay then who????

SkatingTiger: None of your business Phichit

PeachyPika: do u not like me  
PeachyPika: I mean we dont really talk IRL and u r always so mean to me

SkatingTiger: Leave me alone Phichit

PeachyPika: I thought yuo were cold with everyone but this is a whole new level  
PeachyPika: if ur not gonna answer me ill ask yuuri for his opinion  
PeachyPika: he appreciates me and my beautilicious selfies 

Otabek: Hello Phichit.

PeachyPika: HI what are you up to hmu

Otabek: Hi Yura.

PeachyPika: does yuri like me

Otabek: Maybe?

SkatingTiger: No I don’t and I never will like any of you  
SkatingTiger: Except for Otabek   
SkatingTiger: And maybe Yuuri

PeachyPika: what a dramatic

Otabek: Yuri is entitled to his own opinions Phichit,  
Otabek: however I do agree we should meet up for his birthday.

PeachyPika: we’re all playing hide and seek

Otabek: But don’t post anything about it until the party starts. And don’t tell JJ.

SkatingTiger: You tell JJ and I flay you alive with my skates you humanoid monkey

PeachyPika: thats new

SkatingTiger: Peasant

PeachyPika: so ur going to let us come over 

SkatingTiger: I live with Yuuri so you could just ask him

Otabek: Is Minami still staying there?

SkatingTiger: He’s leaving tonight 

PeachyPika: hmmmmm no hes not he cant

SkatingTiger: Yuuri’s already tidied up the spare room and he’s going out late with Victor and I’m not doing anything for the chicken nugget 

PeachyPika: nope since ur too busy doing him

SkatingTiger: I fucking dare you to say that again you little fucking peasant

PeachyPika: ha no i value my life

Otabek: Despite it having no value what-so-ever.

PeachyPika: okay thanks for that

Otabek: You’re Welcome

SkatingTiger: Jesus

PeachyPika: so tomorrow everyone will show up by five and we’ll all knock together like in weird kid shows and we’ll all have presents and stupid comments to make as we walk in and then we’ll start the party, play games and end the night in a big room pile and well leave at 12 sharp after eating warm buttery toast that the mom (yuuri in this case) has made with the present wrappings

Otabek: Sounds good to me.

SkatingTiger: You’re mental   
Skating: Phichit why did you call Yuuri

PeachyPika: i thought you said he was out????

SkatingTiger: He’s going out later for fucks sake

Otabek: Yuri there’s no reason to be so mad.

SKatingTiger: There’s every reason   
SkatingTiger: What are you planning Phichit

PeachyPika: nuthin much  
PeachyPika: but its confirmed minami is stayin at ur house tonite

SkatingTiger: WHAT THE FUCK

PeachyPika: in ur room  
PeachyPika: jesus child let me finish

SkatingTiger: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE FUCK YOU

PeachyPika: OTABEK DONT GIVE IN DONT LET HIM STAY AT URS

SkatingTiger: Please Beka help me

Otabek: It seems more beneficial to leave things as they are.

PeachyPika: awww are you too gay for this yurio <3

SkatingTiger: I SWEAR TO GOD PHICHIT I will cut off your dick, shove it down your throat while ripping your your intestines before I mummify you alive and in the most painful way possible

PeachyPika:   
PeachyPika: intense okay

Otabek: Mummification will get you arrested Yura, and so will ripping out someone’s intestines.   
Otabek: But I suppose Phichit’s dick is useless since he never uses it for anything. 

PeachyPika: EXCUSE ME   
PeachyPika: BUT MY DICKS BEEN IN MORE HOLES RHAN THE AMOUNT OF COMPETITIONS VICTOR HAS WON

SkatingTiger: I guess people really do have low enough standards to want a two inch dick

PeachyPika: My Dicks more than three times the size of yours

SkatingTiger: Amazing, wow. I mean, it’s not like I don’t actually have a dick or anything.   
SkatingTiger: Which would mean you’re comparing your ‘Dick’, not sure why you’d capitalise anything so irrelevant, to something that’s nonexistent in length. Tell me, Phichit, what is three times zero? 

PeachyPika: fuck you

Otabek: I feel bad for Phichit now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K I’m done I’m sorry that I have delayed Yuri’s birthday but like it takes me a long time to write these chapters  
> Procrastination people   
> Anyway see y’all later enjoy  
> Thanks for reading the bullshit I spew  
> Like most of this isn't even funny it's just mild amusing and that's mostly because it's evident that I actually sometimes try to make it funny but hilariously fail


	10. MMMM CuDDLes aND fIlLErS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small little filler chapter idea thing I came up with to make progress with Yuri and Minami because I'm gonna be honest here, that was the real reason I wrote this. Phichit turns out to be the mastermind behind basically everything and Yuri is set on denial till the very end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAH I have a headache it’s not half three it’s half four in the morning fuck and plinami?  
> This is gonna be short   
> Mostly because I’m gonna write a lil bit now maybe try to hopefully sleep   
> Wake up  
> Spend like twenty minutes writing more  
> And post it when I’m not fully awake

**(17:59)**   
**(SkatingTiger to PeachyPika)**

SkatingTiger: Phichit I fucking hate you so much right now

PeachyPika: :( but why you and your cruuuuush are having a sleepover   
PeachyPika: all alone  
PeachyPika: just being casual and gay 

SkatingTiger: Don’t

PeachyPika: wink wink

SkatingTiger: Phichit

PeachyPika: nudge nudge

SkatingTiger: I am going to fucking murder you 

PeachyPika: can’t murder the party planner

SkatingTiger: Otabek can take over, he’s not annoying like you

PeachyPika: @r00d

PeachyPika: soooooooooo r u and minami cuddle buddies tonight

SkatingTiger: no

PeachyPika: :(

SkatingTiger: I’m sleeping on the floor 

PeachyPika: how much were you bribed to let minami use your bed

SkatingTiger: NOTHING 

PeachyPika: ohohoh you really like him

**(18:15)**  
SkatingTiger: fuck

PeachyPika: awwwwwwwwww the little tiger has finally bowed down 

SkatingTiger: what does that even mean   
SkatingTiger: Phichit

**(18:17)**   
**(PeachyPika - Red Nugget)**

PeachyPika: sooooooo my friend  
PeachyPika: what are you and yuri gonna get up to  
PeachyPika: when the cats are away the mice will play ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Red Nugget: yuri said we can watch a movie   
Red Nugget: but he’s sleeping on the floor :(

PeachyPika: my dearest kenjirou   
PeachyPika: minami my pal  
PeachyPika: are you upset that you’re not sharing… A BED

Red Nugget: yes?

PeachyPika: if it were anyone else my response would’ve been ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
PeachyPika: however   
PeachyPika: i do have a plan if you want to have cuddles

Red Nugget: yisss plssss

PeachyPika: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) listen up my child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up so late today omg   
> so like  
> plinami  
> yeah  
> sleepovers  
> mkay bye   
> I also tried out a new thing that I used for another fanfiction and I'm probs gonna keep it bc it makes more sense


	11. BOI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing this at 2 am on a school night and Yuri is in a very hateful mood and takes it out on the groupchat before Yuuri gives him hugs and talks to make him feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously tho like   
> The next update is nearly ready  
> But I had this idea  
> and its happening you cant stop me

**(19:59)**  
SkatingTiger: YOU GUYS ALWAYS WONDERING WHY I'M NOT NICE  
SkatingTiger: MAYBE WHEN I TRY TO BE NICE PEOPLE DOUBT ME AND SAY IM JUST PRETENDING  
SkatingTiger: OR THEY MOCK ME AND IGNORE IT  
SkatingTiger: SO MAYBE I DONT WANT TO BE NICE BECAUSE YOURE ALL PRICKS   
SkatingTiger: SO FUCK YOU ALL   
SkatingTiger: EXCEPT OTABEK BECAUSE HES GENUINELY A NICE PERSON AND DOESNT MOCK ME WHENEVER I EVEN SMILE IN HIS DIRECTION

**(20:07)**  
SkatingTiger: AND MAYBE MINAMI TOO BECAUSE HE MAKES ME LAUGH 

**(20:33)**  
SkatingTiger: Piglet's kinda cool as well   
SkatingTiger: SOMETIMES ONLY THO


End file.
